A Choice to Make
by pepper909
Summary: Nathan just left Meredith to go see Megan. Meredith tells a secret that will change her life and the lives around her. This story takes place after 13x24. Please no hate, reviews welcome! Note: I own nothing, just a fan of the show
1. Chapter 1

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter One:**

Meredith stood there still, she watched Nathan pull out of the hospital parking lot and drive away. She stood there and then she remembered back to the house of candles she made for Derek a few years ago. She remembered how happy she was and how in love she felt. It felt like the same thing, all over again. She knew Nathan and Megan had a past and that she was probably going to be left again. She then remembered back to Izzie and her cancer, George and the bus, Cristina and the cab driving away, and Derek lying in the hospital bed dead. Everyone had left her, but somehow she was still here. She stood there as the memories came back but she was soon interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. It was Maggie.

"Meredith! Meredith!" Maggie said, Meredith was suddenly brought back to reality and turned around to face Maggie.  
"Hi Maggie" Meredith said slowly.  
"Is everything okay? What happened?" questioned Maggie  
"Oh um-, nothing, um-, I just told Nathan...about Megan."  
"Oh okay, are you okay?" Maggie said. Deep down Maggie was still upset with Meredith because she had failed to tell her about her relationship with Nathan. But in that moment she let go of her anger and she tried her hardest to be a good, supportive sister. Meredith didn't answer.  
"Umm Meredith..."  
"Sorry what?" Meredith was startled  
"Are you okay?" Maggie repeated  
"Um yea...I think so."  
"Okay? Are you sure? You seem uneasy."  
"Um yeah, I feel nauseous though."  
"Okay. I think we should go sit down. Sound good?"

Meredith was able to respond with a week yes. But suddenly she threw up. Maggie helped her and guided her to an ambulance. There, Maggie sat with her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Hours later Meredith arrived home. She was greeted by the nanny and her three beautiful children. She smiled as her kids ran up to her and hugged her.

"Mommy are you okay?" Zola asked  
"Yes honey, just a little shaken up."  
"Mommy you smell like smoke." Bailey added  
"Yes, I know. There was a fire at the hospital but everything is fine." The nanny came over holding Ellis. "Hey, why don't you two go and play in the other room." Meredith said to her Zola and Bailey.  
"Oh okay." Zola said. They walked away slowly and Meredith managed to take off her coat and made her way over to the kitchen. The nanny followed her, but she first put Ellis with her siblings.  
"Hey, are you okay? You don't look so good." The nanny asked.  
"Um yea, I just need to rest and take a shower. Is there anyway you could watch them for another hour?" Meredith asked.  
"Sure! Your kids are so easy." The nanny responded.  
"Great, thank you so much." Meredith replied weekly.

She made her way up the stairs and into her bedroom. She stumbled over some toys, she passed Amelia's room, there she saw the drawing of the tumor. She kept walking. She entered her bedroom and she took out the post it she had put away a few days ago. She just sat there staring at it, everything she had ever wanted was on that piece of paper, but all of this had disappeared. She picked up her phone and called Cristina. Even though she was in a different continent she was still _her person._

"Hello?" Meredith said. There was static but soon she heard a familiar voice.  
"Hi, Doctor Grey. It's Doctor Ross, Doctor Yang- Cristina is in surgery but she should be out any time. I can tell her to call you back."  
"Okay, that works. Thanks Ross." She hung up the phone.

She took out a small cardboard package from her purse. She went into her bathroom. She could hear her kids playing downstairs and the nanny telling them to behave. She then heard the door open and close. It was a familiar voice, Alex's voice.

"Meredith! You home?" He shouted.  
"Oh hello Alex! Meredith is upstairs, she wasn't feeling so great. She just got home a few minuets ago." The nanny responded.  
"Okay thanks!" Alex turned his head. "Hey Zola! Hey Bailey! Hey Ellis!"  
"Hi Alex!" Zola and Bailey said at the same time.

Meredith heard him talking to the kids and soon he was coming upstairs. She sat in the bathroom waiting. She had just placed the plastic stick on the sink and now she was back to throwing up.

"Hey Mer!" Alex shouted as he made his way to her room.  
"Hi Alex!" She responded.  
"Where are you?"  
"Hold on i'll be out in a second."

Alex sat down on her bed and waited for her. He knew Meredith, he knew something was wrong. He knew it was bigger than Riggs leaving her. He knew that something had happened.

"Oh hi" Meredith stumbled out of the bathroom and she slowly made her way over to Alex.  
"What's wrong? Maggie said something was up."  
"Oh um. Where is she? Is she still at work?"  
"Yes, something came up with one of her patients"  
"Um okay." She got up and she started to pace back and forth.  
"Okay, I'm not gunna do this. I'm not going to play the guessing game. Just tell me what's wrong and we can fix it. I'll help you!"

Meredith disappeared into the bathroom and seconds later she came out with the plastic stick. Alex knew exactly what is was. His face quickly changed. She made it half way to Alex but she quickly ran back to the bathroom and threw up.

"Are you alright Mer? I now know what's wrong." Alex told her. Meredith came out of the bathroom franticly.  
"Alex! This can't be! I can't be-! I am suppose to have a hostile uterus! Alex! What the hell am I suppose to do!  
"Mer calm down! This is not going to help! Just hold on." Alex paused. "Mer give me the test." She walked over to him and put it in his hand.  
"Okay before you freak out-"  
"I'm already freaking out!" Meredith responded cutting him off.  
"Okay- before you go full on crazy let me ask you this."  
"Okay what?"  
"Did you take the test again? Sometimes there are false positives."  
"I know that Alex! I am not a total idiot!" Meredith responded as if her head was going to explode.  
"Okay. Where is it?"

Meredith walked back to her purse and pulled out several more cardboard boxes. She quickly took them out. They all had positives. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she ran back into the bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Meredith's phone rang, Alex picked it up. It was Nathan.

"Is it Cristina?" Meredith shouted through her tears  
"Nope. Riggs."  
"Press ignore"  
"Um Mer, does he know?"  
"No. I thought telling him that Megan is still alive is a lot bigger than me being pregnant."  
"He left a message."  
"Okay can you play it?"  
"Sure, hold on." Meredith came out of the bathroom and sat next to Alex. He pressed play.

 _"Hey Meredith! I'm so sorry I left you like that! I've been thinking about you and I felt that I need to tell you this before it's too late. I love you! I love everything about you! I know I'm on my way to see another woman but I felt that I should tell you. Um that's it, I just needed to tell you. Talk to you soon!"_

Meredith stared at the phone in shock but she quickly felt nauseous again and she went to throwing up in the bathroom. Alex sat there shocked. He knew that Meredith and Nathan had a relationship and he knew that Nathan liked Meredith a lot. He also knew how hard it was for Meredith to move on after Derek. Derek was the love of her life and he had stuck by her from the beginning. He had watched her fall in love but then have her heart broken time after time. He saw her grow over the years and survive the impossible. The bomb, the shooting, the plane, crash, her attack, and now the fire. He watched her become a mother, he knew what he would do if he was in her situation, but he wasn't going to say anything because this is a choice Meredith has to make on her own. The phone rang again.

"Is it him again?" yelled Meredith from the bathroom.  
"Um- no, it's Cristina." Alex shouted back.  
"Oh okay good! Can you get it?"  
"Sure"  
 _"Hey Mer! What's up?" Cristina said  
_ "Oh hi Cristina. It's Ale-"  
 _"Yeah I know who you are Alex, i'm not deaf. Where's Mer?"_  
"Throwing up. She'll be out in a second."  
 _"Okay. You know what i'll facetime you, hold on i'll call-"_  
"Cristina."  
" _What? You know I don't have all day. I got another surgery."_  
"You might wanna cancel that-" Alex whispered.  
 _"Wait why? Why are you whispering?" Cristina questioned him_  
"It's Mer she's gotta tell you something and it might take sometime." Alex continued to whisper.  
 _"Okay fine. I'm still going to call you back. Hold on" Cristina hung up._

Cristina hung up and Meredith finally came out of the bathroom. Meredith still crying, walked slowly over to Alex. Alex hugged her and he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a tissue. The phone rang again. Meredith reached over and pressed accept thinking it was Cristina. But it wasn't, it was Nathan. When she looked down and realized it was him, she quickly handed the phone off to Alex. Alex picked the phone up.

"Hi." Alex said in a stern, confident voice.  
"Uhh- hi? Where's Mer?" Riggs asked  
"Not here" Alex quickly said. He turned his head and looked at Meredith. She was pacing back and forth and she was telling Alex to hang up. She could not handle what he was going to say.  
"Um I think she is."  
"Sorry she isn't." Alex hung up.

"Alex what am I going to do! Tell me what to do!" She said back to him.  
"Mer calm down! Your stressing yourself out! If you don't calm down you might lose it again. Remember the shooting?"  
"Okay you're right, but I don't think this can cause me to miscarriage."  
"Ok, Cristina should be calling back any second."  
"Alex tell me what to do. I can believe I am pregnant."  
"Mommy?"

Meredith turned around and there stood Zola.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Choice to Make:**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

"Oh hey Zo!" Meredith wiped her tears and tried to cheer up.  
"Mommy? Am I going to have another sibling?" Zola asked eagerly.  
"Uh, i'm not sure." Meredith responded hesitantly  
"Wait, so this must mean daddy is still alive right? If your having a baby that means daddy will be the dad, right?" Zola said cheerfully.

Meredith looked at Alex, she needed help. How could she explain that no daddy is not alive and that she's been sleeping with another man. And if she did have this baby it wouldn't be the same. One thing leads to another, once she tells Zola about Riggs that means marriage might come next and how could she tell her kids that she is going to get remarried. There're too young to know that you can love two people in a lifetime. And that even though she is marrying someone else, she will always love their father. No one will ever be able to replace Derek. Derek will always be the one. The man she will love the most. She may be falling for Riggs, but this love felt different from the great love she had with Derek. Nothing will ever be able to replace ferryboat scrub-caps and the tumor on the wall and the post-it note wedding. Meredith could feel tears filling up her eyes. She quickly wiped them away because she didn't want her kids to see her cry. She had to stay strong, for herself and for them. Alex took Zola by the hand and they walked down the hallway and down the stairs.

"Uncle Alex, what's wrong with mommy? She seems upset" Zola asked.  
"This is complicated. You're right, your mom is not her usual self. You know what that means?" They walked down the stairs.  
"No?"  
"It means you're going to have to be patient with her, she is going through a hard time and she has a lot of decisions to make. You and you're siblings are going to have to act super well and follow everything your mom says. Okay?"  
"Okay!"  
"Okay, how about you tell your brother and sister."  
"Umm, uncle Alex is my mom..."  
"What? Is your mom?"  
"Uh, never mind."  
"No, what is it Zo?"  
"Is my mom with someone else? Daddy isn't alive is he?"  
"I'm sorry Zola, daddy died." He paused, he didn't want to answer the first question she had asked.  
"So?" Zola trying to get an answer out of him.  
"So what?" Alex asked  
"Is she... is mom with someone else? Does she not love dad anymore?"  
"Zola, it's complicated." Alex tried to change the subject because he didn't know what Meredith would want him to say.  
"Alex! I saw someone the other day. He came out of her room. Is she with that guy?" Zola was getting frustrated.  
"Zola-"  
"Oh hey, there you are!" The nanny interrupted. Alex felt relived.

Zola went back over and started to play with Bailey again. She glanced over her shoulder looking back at Alex. Alex and her made eye contact but he quickly turned around and headed back upstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Choice to Make:**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

"Hey Mer. Zola has a lot of questions and I think she's figured it out." Alex said as he walked down the hallway and back into her bedroom.  
"What does she know?"  
"Well she knows you were with Riggs."  
"What? How?" Meredith was startled and confused all at once.  
"She saw him. The other day. I don't know details but she told me that."  
"Damn it. How?"  
"Meredith-"

Her phone rang, it was Cristina.

"Finally" Meredith said.  
 _"Hey" Cristina said over facetime_  
"Hi. I need to tell you something and I need you to tell me what to do." Meredith's face was red and full of tears. Cristina's mood quickly changed when she saw this. She knew, Meredith didn't even have to say it, Cristina knew.  
 _"You're pregnant." Cristina said softly.  
_ "yes." Meredith's voice broke down  
 _"Mer, it's going to be okay. You took the test right? And you took it more than once right?"  
_ "Yes. I'm sure, or at least seven tests said so." Her voice was soft  
 _"Mer, who's is it? Is it that Nathan guy?"  
_ "Uh yea, it has to be his."  
 _"Have you told him?"  
_ "No, his fiancé was found alive. You know, Megan?"  
 _"Oh okay. So what are you thinking of doing? Are you going to keep it? I mean you already have three kids. Or are you going to get an abortion?"  
_ "I don't know. I know I have three kids, and I don't know if I want a child with Nathan. He's nice and all but he's not Derek. I just want Derek." Her voice fell apart. Cristina looked at her and she knew that Meredith was falling in love with this new man. But she also new no one will ever be Derek. She knew how hard it had been on Meredith.  
 _"Mer do you want me to come home? I can try to get on a plane tonight."  
_ "No stay, you have surgery's and lives to safe. Don't waste time on me, i'll figure it out."  
 _"Okay? I don't want you to become dark and twisty again though. I plan on coming home soon through."  
_ "Cristina, I need help now. If I am going to get an abortion I have to do it before it's too late."  
 _"Okay, just think about it and call me back. I'm sorry but I have to go."_

She ended the call and the room went back to being silence. Alex standing in the hallway and Meredith sitting on her bed.

"Hey do you remember way back when this house was a frat house. Or at least it felt like one."  
"Haha yeah. Those good old days. Remember the time when you let George and Izzie move in? And the party Izzie threw for her boyfriend."  
"Yes, and the time you brought Ava home, and she peed on my couch." Alex laughed  
"Or the time your were holding on so tight to that tequila bottle when Derek's mother was coming into town." Meredith didn't laugh. "Oh sorry."  
"No it's okay. I just still miss him so much, we had so many great memories."  
"Okay well what do you want to do? Drink? Cry? Sleep?" Alex said. Meredith grinned when he said drink. "Oh sorry."  
"No I wish I could, but-well-you know.."

For a short amount of time Meredith got to relive the good old days but reality always comes back. She felt like she was going to throw up again. She ran into the bathroom. Alex looked around Meredith's room and he say that she had taken out the post-it note. From there, he realized that the drawing of the giant tumor was gone. He got up and started to look around the room. He wondered out into the hallway and he could see it in Amelia's room.

"Hey Mer!" Alex shouted from the hallway.  
"Uh what?" Meredith replied weekly.  
"Why is the tumor drawing in Amelia's room?"  
"Uh what?"  
"The tumor drawing..."  
"Oh um I gave it to her."  
"Why?"  
"Uh- I don't know-"  
"Well okay..."  
"Yeah..."

Meredith came out of the bathroom and Alex came back into her room. She stood there in the room, it was silent and all the memories came back. The memory of her and Derek trying to get pregnant and the memory of her telling Derek the stories from Europe. They were laughing and smiling, they were happy.

"I have to tell him." Meredith finally said. Alex nodded his head.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

Alex walked toward Meredith and gave her a huge. He wasn't usually a person who hugs others but he thought Meredith could use some comfort. She had just gone through a long, full, grueling day and then she had to come home to a messing house and then her oldest child finding out her secret. She wouldn't show for a little while longer so she still had time. In that moment, Meredith had so much going through her mind, how was she going to tell Nathan, and what would he say? How is she going to decide what to do, what if Nathan and her don't agree on what to do, and what the hell will Maggie say. It had only been a few weeks since Maggie found out, what was she going to say? Maggie loved Riggs, she was already mad at Meredith for not telling her about the relationship. Meredith was still trying to gain Maggie's trust back, and this baby was only going to make it worse. Maggie was her sister, family is more important than some guy she may or may not be falling in love with. Another child? She already had so much on her plate, sometimes she felt like she was turning into her mother. She did not want her kids to feel betrayed when they got older. Zola was growing up so fast and so was Bailey. As they were getting older, so was she. Was she young enough to raise another child? Was she young enough to fall in love again? Did she even want to fall in love again? What if Nathan wanted to end their relationship and go back to Megan. If Derek was alive and just found, she knew she would leave Nathan immediately. She wouldn't even have to think about it.

"Uh Mer?" Alex asked quietly and hesitantly.  
"Um, sorry, what?" She was suddenly brought back to the moment.  
"I'm so sorry but-" Alex continued.  
"You have to go." Meredith interrupted.  
"Yea."  
"Okay, you should go. I'll be fine. The nanny is leaving soon and I should really talk to Zola."  
"Alright, call me if you need me. Okay?"  
"Okay." Meredith mumbled.  
"Oh and Mer- don't worry, everything is going to be okay." Alex said in a soft, supportive voice.

Alex left the room and closed the door behind him. Meredith went back into her bathroom and cleaned herself up. She wiped away the tears and put away the tests. She needed to tell people, she didn't want other people finding out the way Zola did. She walked out and over to the post-it note. She lifted it up steadily and climbed up onto her bed. The nail where it used to hang remained. She put it back up. Meredith took a deep breath while a few more tears trickled down her cheeks. She reached back out to the framed post-it note, she took it off the nail and put it back on her dresser. She stood still.


	7. Chapter 7

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

Meredith wiped the few tears away and began to make her way downstairs. She needed to talk to Zola and to make sure she wouldn't mention what she heard to her siblings or to her aunts. Especially Maggie. Meredith was still shaken and confused with how she ended up here. She thought she had been so careful. Meredith reached the end of the stairs, she stood there for a second, took a deep breath in and then kept walking. She reached the living room where her kids where.

"Hi Meredith, are you feeling any better?" The nanny questioned.  
"Yes, a little. Thank you for watching them." She responded.  
"No problem, happy to do it! I have to go now but please call if you need anymore help. Okay?"  
"Okay, thanks."

The nanny kneeled down to say goodbye to Zola and Bailey.

"Hey guys, remember what I told you, okay?" She whispered to the two children.  
"Okay." Bailey mumbled back. Zola nodded her head. The nanny stood up and reached for her bag. She then walked out leaving Meredith and her three kids.

"Hi there Zo." Meredith kneeled down to reach Zola's level.  
"Hi Mommy" Zola replied quietly.  
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Zola ignored her and went back to playing with the play-doh. "Hey Zo?" Meredith tried again but Zola ignored her again. Meredith then tapped her on the shoulder, this finally cause Zola's attention. "Zola, mommy needs to talk to you, okay?" Meredith still said quietly and fragilely.  
"Fine." Zola snapped back. Meredith took Zola by the hand and they went into the kitchen. Meredith was nervous about what Zola would say. What if she could never forgive her for being with someone else, someone other than her father. They arrived in the kitchen, Zola sat down at the kitchen table. She kept her head down, the room was tense.

"Zola, I know you heard me this afternoon, is there anything I can do to make it better. I promise I will tell you everything once I figure it out for myself. I will keep you updated, okay?" Meredith said.  
"No." Zola said harshly.  
"What?" Meredith said taken back.  
"No." Zola repeated herself.  
"What do you mean?" Meredith was trying to keep back the tears and she was trying to stay strong. Silence struck the room. "Zola, look at me please." Zola didn't move, not even a little bit. "Zola!" Meredith said a little bit stronger. Nothing happened, the room was still filled with silence. "Zola!" Meredith was getting annoyed.  
"No!" Zola shouted back at her. She quickly stood up and ran out of the room. Tension formed, Zola disappeared before Meredith could say anything or before she could do anything.


	8. Chapter 8

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

Meredith heard the front door open.

"Hey Mer!" It was Maggie.

Meredith walked out of the kitchen to greet her. She walked slowly and carefully, trying to hold back tears that were about to form.

"Hi Maggie, I thought you had post-ops."  
"Yeah I did, but I finished and I thought I would come home. Do you want to go out to dinner or something?" Maggie asked.  
"Um- maybe another night, I got some stuff to sort out."  
"Oh okay." There was a pause between the two of them. "Is everything okay?" Maggie asked seconds later.  
"Uh, yeah." Meredith hesitated.  
"Really? You don't seem okay, you can tell me anything, you know that right?"  
"Yeah of course...have you heard anything about Megan?"  
"No, nothing really. I think they took her to another hospital because well- you know the fire."  
"Yeah that makes sense. I'm going to go, I got to talk to Zola."  
"Oh okay."

Maggie took off her coat and went over to hang out with Bailey and Ellis. Meredith went up the stairs, she found Zola in her room sitting on her bed. She had pulled out a photo album.

"Hey Zo, we never got to finish our conversation." Meredith said softly.  
"Yeah I know."  
"Well i'm sorry you had to find out this way."  
"Yeah I know." Zola said calmly.  
"So what are you looking at?"  
"Pictures"  
"Oh thats nice." Meredith didn't really know how to react or what to say. She could see that the photo album was from a few years back, it was when Derek was still alive.  
"I love this picture." Zola pointed at a picture and smiled. Meredith made her way over to her bed and she sat next to Zola.  
"Yeah that picture was taken at your birthday party. Do you remember that?"  
"No, I just like the picture."  
"Well I remember we had all of our friends over and that you looked so good in that pink dress." Meredith smiled and she wrapped her arm around Zola. They both smiled. Zola turned the page.

Looking at this photo album made Meredith feel happy. She reminisced the day they got Zola back. The day the social worked showed up at their house. Meredith remembered that she was expecting the pizza delivery guy but instead it was Zola. In that moment, as she held Zola and looked at Derek she finally felt like she had a family, a happy family. She felt complete, she had a child and the man she loved. In that moment they were a perfect family. Bringing herself back to the present day, it was just like that moment except Derek wasn't there. She still had a family but it didn't fell like _her_ family. She had three kids, a man whom she thought she was falling in love with, and two sisters. This was her family now. The next photo was taken in the dream house. Looking at that photo she remembered how long it took her for her to finally commit. She remembered the time when he was with Rose and how she went to therapy. Looking back, therapy really did save her. If she never went, she probably would still have abandonment and trust issues. She wouldn't have Zola or any of her kids, she would be alone. The dream house was amazing. It had the best view, but ever since he died she couldn't go back. It was his floor plan and his land. The dream house represented how perfect her life was back then. Another picture was taken at the hospital when she had Bailey. Meredith smiled and looked at Zola, Zola was smiling because those pictures held good memories. Meredith thought about her pregnancy and what her life would be like if she had this baby. This baby wouldn't look like her love of her life, it would look like Nathan. Tears formed in her eyes.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" Zola looked up at Meredith.  
"Um...yes." Meredith said through the tears.  
"Are you sure? You're crying."  
"I'm okay, it's okay." Meredith said trying to push through.

Zola closed the photo album and hugged her mom.

"It's going to be okay mom." Zola whispered into Meredith's ear. "Daddy isn't here but that's okay. I know he is looking down on us, I know he loves us and he wants what is best for all of us. He is still in our lives even if he isn't here. It's okay mom, it will be okay."  
"Zola-" Meredith said, but Zola kept going.  
"I love you mom and dad loves you too." Zola said, tears were in her eyes.  
"I love you too Zola, and I will always love dad." Meredith said quietly trying to stay strong  
"I miss him." Zola responded.  
"Me too" Meredith repeated.

Meredith hugged Zola tight.


	9. Chapter 9

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 _ **NOTE:**  
_ _Sorry I haven't been able to update faster, but here is chapter nine and ten is coming soon._

 _Thanks so much for reading!_

 **Chapter Nine**

That night Meredith had trouble sleeping. She had tucked in Zola, Bailey, and Ellis but she wondered what Zola was thinking about. She thought about the news she got today and what she might do, she weighed the options. She also thought about what Nathan's reaction would be. The first one being: that Nathan would go back to Megan and they would get married. And if they had the baby she figured that they would share custody of the child and that they would be able to exist in the same world. But what if he left Megan after he had heard about her pregnancy what would that lead to? What if she just got an abortion without telling him? She felt that that would make this problem go away, but she stopped and she decided that was not fair to him. What would happen if she did tell him but she would still terminate? They had never really talked about a baby, most of their deep conversations were about Derek and Megan. Meredith turned on the lamp next to her bed. She grabbed her book that was sitting on the nightstand, she started to read and soon she became more relaxed. She turned the light out and tried to go to sleep for a second time.

"Mer! We're going to be late?" Maggie screamed from downstairs.  
"Huh?" She screamed back confused.  
"It's late!" Maggie yelled back.

Meredith slowly got out of bed and tied her bathrobe and headed downstairs. She walked slowly and steadily, she didn't look good. What if she saw Nathan at work today? What was she going to say to him? When was she going to tell them? She knew what she wanted to do but she was nervous about what his reaction was.

"Oh hey Mer." Maggie said cheerfully. Meredith rubbed her eyes trying to wake herself up. "You okay? You look exhausted."  
"Oh yea, I'm fine. Long night."  
"Okay, the nanny just picked the kids up a few minuets and brought them to daycare. Zola seemed off, she was asking for you but Bailey and Ellis were fine. I told Zola not to wake you, I hope that was okay." Maggie said as she grabbed her bag and coffee and reached for the doorknob.  
"Oh thank you. I have a board meeting about um... fire... so i'll be in later."  
"Great! See you then."

Maggie went out the door in a hurry. Meredith stood there for a second and then she headed to the kitchen for some breakfast. After breakfast she got dresses and headed to work. She pulled into the the hospital parking lot, like she always did. She walked into the hospital taking deep slow breaths.

"Hey Mer!" Alex said, he was running towards her.  
"Oh hey." Meredith responded  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah...I guess."  
"Really? Are you sure about that?" Alex questioned her  
"Yea" Meredith responded hesitantly  
"You're not okay. Don't fake yourself out, it's not going to help. And you know that."  
"I know...your right."  
"I know. I'm always right." Alex said with a smile, trying to cheer her up.  
"Uh...have you seen Riggs?"  
"Nope. I'm pretty sure he was still with Megan."  
"Are that at the other hospital?"  
"I think so but i'm not completely sure. You know you could ask Amelia-" But he was interrupted with a strange, glaring look on Meredith's face. "You don't have to tell her, just ask. Make something up. You don't even have to mention him, she will probably answer your question before you get the chance to ask it."  
"Yea, I guess. She does talk a lot."  
"Good, I have to go but page me if you need me, okay?"  
"Yea, see you later."


	10. Chapter 10

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _Again i'm so sorry for the delay! Also sorry for any typos. Thanks for reading!_

 **Chapter Ten**

Meredith walked to the attending's lounge to get changed. She reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone. She called Amelia.

"Hey Mer!" Amelia answered  
"Hi"  
"So what's up? Haven't heard from you in a while"  
"Yeah. I was just wondering-" She was cut off.  
"Where we are? Or how Megan is? Or more importantly how is Nathan?" Amelia's voice was cheerful and bubbly. Meredith took that as a sign that Owen was doing okay.  
"Um, I was just wondering when you were getting back." Meredith said in a small voice.  
"Oh, there're transferring her to Grey-Sloan... I think."  
"Okay thanks... um how is Owen? Is he okay?" Meredith mumbled.  
"I think so, I mean he's doing the best he can." Amelia's voice lowered.  
"And um...Nathan?" She asked hesitantly.  
"Good, like really good! He's really happy he got Megan back. I'm pretty sure he's headed back to Grey-Sloan. He left a few hours ago. I think he also mentioned something about talking to you, he felt bad about the way he left you."  
"Okay thanks." Meredith managed to respond.  
"You okay Mer?"  
"Yup." Meredith responded as cheerfully as she could, she was trying to keep back the tears.  
"Okay. See you soon!" She hung up.

Meredith felt better after that phone call. She now knew that Nathan was on his way back and as soon as she saw him she was going to tell him. She knew what she wanted, but she had to tell him. She stopped at the OR board, like she always did. She looked at the list of surgeries and that also provided some comfort. She continued to make her way to the lounge. When she got there she noticed a familiar face.

"Cristina?!" Meredith dropped her bag and went to hug her.  
"Mer!" Cristina responded cheerfully.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Oh, well I was planning to visit you and after the phone call last week I decided to book a flight."  
"I can't believe your here!" Meredith responded. "How long are you staying?"  
"Not long, two days tops. I have to get back, we are getting a new printer." Cristina smiled.  
"Oh okay. We have to talk, I need help." Meredith's voice returned to being scared. "Cristina, I can't believe-"

Before she could finish her sentence another familiar face showed up.

"Mer?" It was Nathan's voice. Meredith turned around to see him standing in the doorway. Cristina made a puzzled look, but then she figured out who it was. She gently nudged Meredith close to Riggs. Meredith didn't move, she couldn't move. "Um hi?" Nathan said quietly and hesitantly, he looked Cristina in the face.  
"Hi. I'm Cristina, Cristina Yang." She stepped forward to reach him. She held out her hand. She shook his hand firmly.  
"Oh, you're Cristina. Mer mentions you a lot."  
"Yea- I guess." She looked back at Meredith. Meredith's feet were still planted and her eyes were stuck on Nathan. "Mer?"  
"Oh sorry, what?" Meredith suddenly snapped out of it and looked at Cristina.  
"Are you okay?" Nathan asked, trying to be as polite as possible. He looked at Meredith.  
"Yes, I'm good." Meredith paused. She then looked at Cristina. "Um, Cristina let's go to lunch." She stepped forward to reach where she was standing.  
"Uh...Meredith..."  
"Lunch, now, let's go." Meredith walked out of the room, grabbing Cristina's arm. Nathan was left there looking confused.

"Meredith!" Cristina jerked back, tugged on Meredith's arm.  
"What?"  
"You need to tell him."  
"Tell him what?"  
"Don't act stupid. You just had the perfect moment to do so but you gave it up."  
"Cristina, I can't."  
"Why?"  
"Because..."  
"Because why?"  
"Because it's too hard."  
"Okay, let's eat lunch you can talk it over with me and then you really have to tell him."  
"Okay sound good. But we have to go to the little café downtown."  
"Alright. You're going to be fine. Don't worry."

Tears started to form in Meredith's eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _Thank you so much for reading! Sorry for any typos._

 **Chapter Eleven**

"Do you want to stop?" Cristina asked Meredith.

 _a few hours before:_

They were in the car, they just had lunch and they were now headed back to the hospital. Meredith held a cup of coffee in her left hand while she rested her head on her right. She looked out the car window at the sunny day. There were a few clouds in the sky and the grass was a beautiful clean green. The trees gently swayed back and forth while the birds chirped. Meredith had been up for hours, she was so tired and all she wanted to do was sleep. But she knew sleep was not going to happen until she told Nathan her secret. Meredith shifted her body to look forward, she soon realized that they had passed the hospital and they were now headed into rural area.

"Where are we going?" Meredith asked quietly.  
"A few places."  
"Cristina...I need to go to the hospital."  
"You will, I just think you need to visit these places real quick."  
"Okay, but I think i'm ready...to tell Nathan."  
"Good, you will be even more ready after we finish."

Cristina kept driving, Meredith soon recognized where they were going. This was the way to get to the dream house. Ever since she sold the house she had never been back, she always felt that she wasn't ready. Cristina turned onto a little dirt path that would lead then to the house. The path had once been decorated with bird feeders, children's toys, and colorful flowers. Now everything was over grown and weeds had taken the place of he flowers. Meredith kept her eyes forwards. Seeing this path made her sad and disappointed, she thought the new owner would take care of the land, but instead it seems like they had neglected it. When they reached the house she saw that everything was now covered in vines and weeds. The patio Derek had build was nearly rotting and the play-set they had bought was broken down. Cristina stopped the car and Meredith slowly opened the car door. She placed one foot in front of the other, she walked up to the house and looked through the window. She saw the fireplace she loved and the room where she told Derek about Bailey. This made her smile only for a second. Meredith then walked around the house to see the view that Derek and her loved. This also made her smile, but again only for a second. She then made her way back to the car. Meredith got into the car and she nodded. Cristina then turned on the car and they left the land.

"Have you planned what you're going to say?" Cristina asked.  
"No, not really...i've been too distracted. I've been trying to work this out as smoothly as I can, especially with Zola. You know she's getting older and I am worried about her and what she will think." Meredith said softly.  
"Yeah, I definitely get that. Alright well we have one more spot to visit, if you want to." Cristina said as she glanced over to look at Meredith."

They kept driving and Meredith then realized this was the way to the cemetery. Meredith looked down to her lap and she realized her hands were sweating. There was silence. She then grabbed her phone out from her pocket to check if she had been paged. She kind of hope she had been but when she looked at her phone all she saw was five missed calls. Three of them were from Nathan, one from Maggie, and one from the hospital. She listened to them in order. Nathan was wondering were she was, it was very nice of him to call so many times. It showed that he really did care about her. Maggie was wondering if she could scrub in on a surgery and the message from the hospital was nothing. Meredith then looked back up and turned to Cristina.

"Do you want to stop?" Cristina asked.  
"Yeah but first can we get some flowers. It's been a long time." Meredith said gently.  
"Okay."

They then turned into the parking lot to buy flowers. A few minuets later they came back with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. They continued to the cemetery. When they got there Cristina parked the car.

"Are you coming?" Meredith said looking back at Cristina.  
"Do you want me to?" Cristina responded.  
"Sure. I mean if you want to."  
"Alright let's go." Cristina said confidently.

She took Meredith along with the flowers. They walked over to the grave and there Meredith stood there in silence. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, until Cristina turned to her.

"Meredith? Meredith. Meredith!" Meredith quickly jerked her head to face Cristina. "Are you okay? Are you sure your ready?" There was silence but finally Meredith nodded her head yes. "I'm going to go wait over there. Meet me there when your done?" Meredith nodded her head. "Good."

Cristina walked away. She would hear her footsteps getting quieter and quieter. Soon she knew it was just her. She looked down at the grass and then her hands, and then the flowers they had bought. She gently kneeled down and placed the flowers next to the stone. Tears were now flowing down her face in a constant stream. She couldn't stop the tears but she gently brushed them away. She began to un-freeze and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She tried again but her tears took over. She tried for a third time, this time words did come out.

"Derek. Derek? Derek!? I...I..." She said trying to push through the tears. "I have something to tell you." She paused. "I don't know if you can see or if you are watching down on us but I wan't to let you know that we are okay and that...um...i'm pregnant. I'm sorry I didn't mean to spit it out like that. I just felt like I needed to tell you, it's Nathan's." More tears formed in Meredith's eyes, she could barley keep it together. "Derek? What should I do?" Meredith stood there with a tissue in one hand and the other wiping her tears. She waited, she was waiting for a sign or something, she wasn't quite sure. All she knew is that she wanted him back. She wanted to pretend that Nathan was Derek and that she was telling Derek about Bailey. She knew this wasn't going to happen but at least it provided some comfort. She had already lived and survived through so much she knew she was going to be okay. She lightly touched the tomb stone and she slowly backed away. She simply said: "Thank you."

She turned around and walked to Cristina. They got back into the car and Meredith knew she had to tell Nathan, she had to tell him now.


	12. Chapter 12

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _Okay here is the chapter you all have been waiting for! Thank you all for being so patient and all of your support. Many of you may or may not like how this story goes so please no hate. Thank you for reading and I am sorry for any typos. Again I don't own anything, I just love the show. There is more to come so please keep reading.  
Thanks!_

 **Chapter Twelve**

"Meredith!" Nathan shouted as she walked into the lobby. She didn't even walk ten feet in the building. He came up to her and he hugged her tight. "There you are! I was so worried." Nathan said. Meredith nodded, she didn't really know how to react. Once he pulled away, she tried to cover up that she had been crying. She tried to smile and act as normal as possible. Too much of her personal life had been advertised all over the hospital.  
"Um Nathan, can we talk somewhere...um somewhere private." She asked quietly.  
"Sure, is everything okay?" Nathan responded with a concerned look.  
"Um, I just need to tell you something."  
"Oh, alright." Nathan said. "So, how are you?" He said trying to spark conversation.  
"Okay." Meredith replied. She wasn't in the mood for small talk.

Nathan took Meredith's hand, Meredith reluctantly took his. They walked to the attending's lounge, no one was in there which was good. Meredith thought that everyone must be in surgery. She closed the door and put her bag down. Nathan's face was now very confused.

"Can you sit down?" Meredith asked. She leaded him over to the couch, he sat down while she paced back and forth for some time.  
"Meredith?"  
"Um..."  
"Well? What is it?" He said.  
"Nathan-"  
"Mer?" He asked.  
"Nathan-" There was a long, quiet pause. "Oh god this was a mistake. I can't do this." She started to walk faster, back and forth, back and forth. Nathan was tracking her trying to figure her out. Before he could say anything she quickly reached for her bag and she began to walk towards the door but Nathan was faster. He grabbed her arm, stopping her from exiting the room.  
"Meredith, tell me." Nathan said in a stern but gentle tone.  
"Uh...sit down."  
"Okay."  
"Okay, um so...well..." Nathan's face wanted her to tell him, she could see that. "Nathan i'm pregnant." Meredith said, she tried to keep the tears back but she couldn't. She saw Nathan's face, he was stunned.  
"Meredith..."  
"Yeah."  
"Meredith."  
"Yeah."  
"Meredith!"  
"What?"  
"This is great!" His face lit up, she was surprised, she thought he would ask her to abort.  
"What?!" Meredith responded.  
"This is great!" He said slowly.  
"What!" Meredith began to shout back.  
"I always wanted a family." A big smile began to form.  
"No."  
"What?"  
"No, I don't want another baby!" Meredith shot back.  
"Well..." Nathan now had a confused look on his face.  
"Well what?" Meredith said wanted him to finish his sentence.  
"I mean-your pregnant."  
"I know that!"  
"What do you want?"  
"I don't want this baby."  
"But I do!" Nathan was now standing up. Meredith was not the easiest person to get along with, and he knew that.  
"Well I don't." She said stepping away from him.  
"Meredith!"  
"WHAT?"  
"We need to talk about this, I love you and I think you love me too." He said stepping towards her.  
"No." Meredith took another step back, away from him.  
"What?" Nathan was taken back, she crossed her arms.  
"No."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I don't love you and I am _not_ going to have this baby."  
"But I want to! It's not just up to you."  
"Okay hold on. You just heard about Megan, whom you say was your soulmate and the love of your life, why aren't you with her? I mean for gods sake if it was Derek I would probably forget about you." Nathan's face looked hurt but Meredith didn't care. Well Meredith did care but she was confused with him.  
"Okay, let me tell you."  
"Good, go."  
"Okay, I saw Megan and I don't know how to explain it but I realized...well..."  
"Well what?"  
"I don't know how to explain it, I am going to sound mean and I don't want to. I love Megan but..."  
"But what?"  
"I don't know! I guess I just love you more!"  
"Nathan! She is the love of your life, so you say, how can you just forget about her?"  
"I am not forgetting about her, I am just making a choice."  
"Well it's the wrong one."  
"I don't care."  
"Well you should."  
"Meredith, come on."  
"Nathan, please stop."  
"Why?"  
"Because."  
"Because why?"  
"Because..."  
"Why?"  
"Because I don't love you, I will never love you!"  
"That's a lie and you know it."  
"No, no it's not." Meredith fired back.  
"Come on! If Megan never came home I would be having dinner with you and the kids tonight. We would be together! Meredith come on! Just admit it. If Megan never came back we would be together, we would probably even have this baby."  
"No we wouldn't. Nathan you need to go back and be with her. You love her, your dream finally came true and you don't appreciate it."  
"I do!"  
"Well you sure aren't acting like it..."  
"Well i'm sorry you see it that way."  
"Okay this is what is going to happen, I am going to go and get a blood test to confirm all of the other test .You are going to go back to Megan and stay with her. We will talk about this tomorrow." Meredith said, she started to pick up her bag but Nathan stopped her again.  
"Meredith, please!"

Meredith ignored him and walked out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

**A Choice to Make**

 _Grey's Anatomy_

Setting: After 13x24

Characters: Meredith Grey, Alex, Maggie, Cristina, Nathan

* * *

 _ **NOTE:**_

 _Sorry for the long wait. Please review and tell me any ideas you have for upcoming chapters! I know some of you might not like how I am writing the characters but I hope you will still enjoy the story line. Can't wait for grey's to return in the fall :) I will update soon.  
Thanks!_

 **Chapter Thirteen**

"Hey Meredith! How did it go?" Alex shouted as he ran towards her. But as he closer he could see that she was anything but okay. "Mer, stop!" Alex yelled.

But she didn't listen, she just kept walking. Alex started to run faster and faster to try to catch up with her. She ran out into the parking lot and Alex could see that she had stopped for a moment to catch her breath, this gave him time to catch up with her.

"Mer, what happened? What did he do?" He asked again while running closer to her. He soon was able to grab her arm and stop her from walking away. Meredith turned gently quickly brushing away the tears. "What? What happened?" Alex asked once more.

"Um-uh." She said hesitantly. Alex looked at her and she knew he wasn't going to let her go until she told him.  
"Yes..."  
"Uh, he wants to have it." Meredith spit out in a quiet but strong voice. Alex was speechless he didn't know what to say. He just stood there trying to come up with something friendly to say. He didn't want to make it worse.  
"Um, uh, what did you say?" He answered hesitantly.  
"I said he was crazy."  
"Okay, do you- uh, what are you going to do?" He could see her eyes fill with anger when he asked that question but he already knew it was too late to take it back.  
"I DON'T KNOW ALEX!" She shouted. "Um, sorry I don't mean to yell at you. You're just trying to help and i'm being a complete bitch."  
"Don't worry Mer. You're fine, you can yell at me, it's fine. I can take it. Meredith not to be pushing but you need to-" But before he could finished his sentence Meredith saw something.  
"Crap." She interrupted Alex and she started to run to her car.

Alex was confused, but once he turned around he figured it out. It was Nathan, he was running towards them. He turned to Meredith but she was already gone. She was in her car driving away. He still had one more surgery but it wasn't long. After he was going to go see her. He started to walk back to the hospital but he ran into Nathan first. Alex stopped him.

"Hey!" Alex said in a annoyed voice. He started to walk faster to reach Nathan.  
"Hi. Is she okay." Nathan sounded like everything was okay and nothing had happened.  
"Uh, no, no she is not okay! Are you a complete idiot?" Alex fired back.  
"Sorry. I care about her a lot."  
"I know but she already has so much going on."  
"I know I want to help her! After all it is my kid." He mumbled the second part hoping Alex would have some sympathy for him.  
"Just stop, she doesn't need you. She needs Derek." He could see Nathan's face twitch at his name but Alex could care less. "But he's not her so I have to take care of her."  
"Alex come on!"  
"No. I can and will help her and if she wants you I will call you. Okay?"  
"No, not okay."  
"Well I guess that too damn bad." Alex walked away brushing shoulders with him. He turned back and he could see Nathan run his hands through is hair. Nathan was confused and annoyed. "Hey! Go see Megan!" Alex yelled back at him.

Nathan was upset, what was he suppose to do? He loved Meredith and he wasn't so sure about Megan anymore. Owen would be pissed at him if he left Megan but he was sure his heart belonged to Meredith. He slowly walked back to the hospital, he was going to talk to Meredith before she did anything to _his_ baby, he just didn't know how to get through to her.


End file.
